The End Of Summer
Apparently the jet stream has moved again and it is going to start raining again. So is summer over already.
The Saturday Team lost to Nailsea 3rds by 6 wickets (although it is more fair to say with one ball left). The full scorecard is here. The match repot is below.
The Sunday 1st Team beat Harptree by 85 runs. The Cowboys hit 229 for 8 as RT2 hit 78 and Dunc hit 43. The foe were all out for 144 in 33.4 overs and Matt D bowled 6.4-1-11-4. The full scorecard is here.
The Sunday 2nd Team lost to Backwell Flax Bourton by 169 runs. BFB scored 263 for 4. Cod Peice bowled 8-1-20-1. The Cowboys were all out for 94 in 28 overs. The full scorecard is here.
Saturday’s Match Report
On arrival at Nailsea we walked from the car park to the pavilion and there in the cricket nets we saw what can only be described as a magnificent Adonis. A beautifully honed physique, an athletic frame, a confident gate. What manor of creature was this? He looked like he could bowl at a million miles an hour and loft sixes with ease. Was he the ultimate ringer forged in the fires of Uranus?
Putting these worries aside the pitch was inspected. It looked firm and flat and there was a stiff one coming straight across its middle. This pitch was not a Badger’s Arse, it was in fact the Stoat’s Bell End (to quote the popular and prophetic Somerset saying). Garnier held forth with a lecture on how drying pitches feel cold even if the air temperature is warm. The rest of the team, not wanting to look like clueless oafs, got down on all fours and fondled the pitch; it indeed felt cold.
Enter Green Gibbo. “Get off the fucking floor you all look like clueless oafs” he said. After his captains innings to bring his merry band home winners last week his chin was held a few degrees higher than normal and he was dressed with coinfidence a little further to the left than normal. “And now I will win the toss”, he announced before losing the toss and getting put into bat. “Bugger” said Green Gibbo, “That is me right out of tactical ideas”. With the Cowboys failing to prove a force with the bat this season bowling the foe out and then chasing a small target is Plan A. Plan B is to stick to Plan A. Getting put into bat had exhausted Green Gibbo’s tactical arsenal.
And so Grove and Green Gibbo strode manfully to the crease, or rather Green Gibbo glided in an ethereal manner and Grove minced rather. Both had a look at the opening bowling: the gentleman of mature years was skilfully drifting it in on the stiff one and the younger buck as wanging it down with gusto. Both batsmen kept one eye on the Adonis to see whether he had started to limber up yet, when the ball went in his direction in the field he certainly seemed to know what he was doing, the power of his bowling must be incredible.
Soon Grove departed after failing to move his feet to the rhythm of the younger gentleman bowler. The very next ball Iggy did exactly the same thing to a very similar ball and was rewarded with a golden duck, from which it took serious cosseting to revive him. Next Wilko was given out due to an “aberration” (see last week’s match report for details of what an “aberration” is and how they should be deployed), although it was apparent on his arrival back at the hutch he thought he had been given out caught behind having not hit it.
Big Nose Pete strode to the crease in a beaky fashion. Coor, what a proboscis! What a hooter! What a conk! In fact although adequate, Pete’s nose is nothing to write home about. As to why he is called Big Nose Pete you would have to ask Green Gibbo. Just as he was getting going the Snoutmeister was stumped for 12. We needed more runs in a hurry and with wickets in hand Angelo went in next and scored a spritely (if slightly consumptive) 27 before being bowled. We had slightly less wickets in hand after 3 were lost in 4 balls; Kahlu and TT getting ducks. Gretch was then run out for a further duck and although Garnier tried to run Green Gibbo out on the last ball the vengeful god of the Eastonites had carried his bat for 81 in another fine Captain’s innings. The Cowboys got 157 for 8 on what they had to admit was probably a 200 pitch.
So how was the Adonis’ bowling? Well, dear reader, he did not bowl. He simply looked chiselled and resplendent in the field for the full 40 overs.
The tea was a fantastic tea in the English Style and an inspiration to us all. Sandwiches made from proper sliced bread and not French sticks or baguettes if you are so inclined. They were of chicken and of tuna and of egg mayonnaise and all manner of proper fillings. There were synthetic cakes in the Sara Lee style. There were mini pasties! Oh, the revelation of a bite sized pasty; so rustic but so dainty. There was, however, definitely no sign of anything as controversial as eggy veg or a Welsh Frittata (which is a Welsh version of an Italian Spanish Omelette).
The Cowboys took to the field to defend their meagre target and the foe got off to a slow start. After Garnier got an early wicket the foe dug in with a more mature gentleman and a kid. Garnier finished on 24 for 1 off his 8 overs, RT1 bowled 23 for 1 off 7 and TT went for 23 off his 8 overs but did not get a wicket.
After having been stumped 1st ball while batting Kahlu also had an odd match bowling. In his first spell he bowled leg spin and was thumped for about 10 runs. Green Gibbo in his finite wisdom took him off. Later Green Gibbo asked him to come back and bowl fast, whereupon Kahlu had the foe in all sorts of bother and he was a little unlucky with streaky edges.
Iggy normally gets under the skin of the foe’s batsmen while fielding at slip, he doesn’t have to do much, he just stands there and gurns at them in the scouse style, occasionally saying “chicken” or “echinacea”. However, this week he needed to be cosseted for the second time in the afternoon as he failed to sledge the more mature gentleman, “He is just too nice” moaned an exasperated Iggy. There, there Iggy.
At drinks the Kid was told to go for it and was eventually caught on 95 by a fine catch from Garnier in the deep who kept his nerve as the ball swirled in the face of the stiff one. It had been a fine and steady innings of great composure… like we all wish we could play.
As Green Gibbo stepped up to bowl the last over the foe needed 6 to win (lets say for arguments sake… I can’t remember how many it was). On the third ball the foe reached 156 for 3 as the more mature gentleman was out for 41 having played a brave inning which consisted of one repeated shot which was a paddled fine of square on the off side: there was the defensive paddle and the slightly less defensive paddle complemented by the genuine edge. The manner of his dismissal was that the batter skied it, it was dropped and then not thrown in very quickly and then as the ball returned to the bowlers end and the foe attempted a third Gibbo ignored the run out at his end and hurled it at Gretch who ran the batsman out at his end. Had the catch been taken the runs would not have counted, however, with a run out on the third the two completed runs counted.
There were now three balls left and the foe needed 2 runs to win. Enter the Adonis. He strode to the crease like a prize fighter. He took his guard and settled into his stance in the most manful manner: legs wide apart, a high confident back lift, a steady head. He looked as though he could simply break wind from his magnificently toned buttocks and get the required two runs. Green Gibbo charged in and bowled him first ball. Now two were needed in two balls. A left hander came in and Green Gibbo charged in to dispatch a second in two balls but let it slip down leg and the foe clipped it for the required 2.
We had lost in a surprisingly low scoring match on a decent wicket. Our batting had not served up enough runs and the foe’s batsmen were allowed to dig in and take them home in a manner that resembled our batting performance last week.
Green Gibbo won man of the match for his bat carrying innings and Garnier’s fine catch won the Cider Moment.